Sometimes the universe smiles. In this context, that smile manifests as two consecutive weekend trips to Las Vegas. We begin with part one, the weekend of Friday the 20th.

Friday the 20th:
Riss and I drove out Friday afternoon, checked in to the Flamingo. Had some Italian food, then I hit the poker room in the Flamingo. The great thing about all this poker TV is that the poker rooms n Vegas are booming. Almost all the casinos have them now (No-Limit tables), and while sometimes it still takes hours to get your seat, at least you have way more options on where to play. The Flamingo action was pretty good, but I lost my shirt. Played way way too long, and at 5am, wandered back in the room a broken man. Well, not broken, but almost broke. As these things go, I swore off playing for the rest of the weekend, …a vow that lasted about 6 hours.

Saturday the 21st:
Riss and I hit the pool at the Flamingo. Love the pool there; waterfalls, a little waterslide, and unfortunately, about a thousand people. It was late summer hot Vegas sunshine, and the water was perfect. After the pool, we took off for the Palms to meet Dave and see the Celebrity Poker Showdown taping. Some poker friends from the Silverlake Card Club came down for the taping and a weekend of cards, and I met them in the Palms poker room for some action before the show. I made half the money back that I had donated the night before at the Flamingo. Around 6pm we all were herded into the studio and watched the taping. I have been informed that I will be executed by a Bravo TV secret police squad if I divulge what happened, so let’s just move on to… “after the taping”.

That afternoon, Dave had wandered into the Hart & Hunnington tattoo parlor in the Palms and booked some time for some ink after the show. He didn’t know what he wanted, just knew he wanted something. He decided on two symmetrical bats, one per shoulder, and we hit the tattoo shop after the show to keep him company. Also in attendance was Emily Procter, the actress who plays the ballistics expert on CSI Miami (she was at Dave’s table on the show). She was really cool, very interesting, and damn- she really knew her poker. I was surprised to find out that she has a passion for returning to med school and becoming a doctor if she can after CSI. I had a great moment’s mental snapshot, as Dave was getting inked in this crazy futuristic Vegas tattoo shop in a casino, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” was playing on the TV behind him, and Queens of the Stone Age’s “Rated R” was on the stereo. A good time. A little scare happened when Dave moved his head and the needle grazed the side of his face. It wasn’t deep enough to leave a mark, but it sure was …exciting.

Sunday the 22nd:
Riss and I went to the Peppermill for food, then headed over to the Liberace Museum. They have boatloads of his crazy sequin and jewel encrusted stage outfits. At least I hope they were stage outfits. My favorite was a patriotic red white & blue caped number with hot pants. They had rhinestone covered Rolls Royces, a mirrored piano and … not much else. Got a black Liberace T-shirt and a refrigerator magnet of the hot pants outfit at the gift store. We hit the road to head back home around 5pm. About 10 miles out of Vegas, the traffic stopped and we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. I have been stuck in the drive from Vegas to L.A. once, and it is murder. What can take 3 hours and 45 minutes (if you have no traffic and do 90-ish) can take anywhere from 6-10 hours. I’d rather have my eyes eaten out by pigeons than sit in stop-and-go traffic all night, so we turned around and went back to Vegas. Riss and I decided to stay an extra night and got a room at the Luxor. We got a room in the pyramid, and watched Soul Plane on the pay-per-view.

My friend Brian was still in town so later we hit the tables at the Luxor, which sucked ass (no action, and all new players). He recommended getting out of there and hitting the Palms. I was down for the trip, but thought it might be better to just limit the weekend’s financial bleeding and go back to the room and get to sleep (Riss and I planned to hit the road at 5am and make it back to L.A. around 9am). Screw that, we’re in Vegas, let’s go play some cards! The Palms was all booked up, so we headed downtown to the Golden Nugget. The casino was happening, and the vibe was good. We sat down at a table that looked like the final table of a WPT event – every stereotypical poker type was there: the old cowboy hat wearing guy, the English pro player, an unintelligible Middle Eastern guy, and a heavy Kenny Rogers looking guy wearing Elvis glasses. Rad. The action was crazy at that table: big bets, big raises, and at first I was a bit intimidated. After a few hands, I outdrew the cowboy on a big all in hand and had doubled up. After a couple hours, I had about a grand in front of me. This is always the part of the evening where I say to myself, “this seems like a fantastic time to get up and walk away – this is rent I have in front of me”, but I don’t often listen. I start losing a few pots, then finally I get tangled up in a big pot with the middle eastern guy, and try to semi-bluff him out of it by going all-in, but end up giving him more than half my stack when he calls. Brian and I decide to leave soon, and I am praying I get some of that cash back. I get into another pot with Middle Eastern guy, and call his pre-flop raise with AQ off. We get into it, and I end up raising all-in hoping to push him off the pot. He calls with pocket kings. “Oh shit,” I am thinking, “I did it again, I bet too impulsively, and am going to give this evil fuck my rent money”, when the Great and Golden Poker God blessed me with a fourth diamond on the river to match the one in my hand to double up my stack. One of those pots that doesn’t make you any friends, …but that’s poker. He starts mumbling something I can’t understand, something that I imagine amounts to: “May the jackals feast upon your entrails”, and I do the ultimate bad vibe maneuver and pick up my stack and cash out. Hey, nothing personal, we were leaving anyway. So my extra night in Vegas trying to avoid a traffic jam ended up being nice and profitable. Got the money back I lost, plus 450.00. Plus Riss and I got to watch Soul Plane. I got back to the room around 4:20am, woke Riss up, and hit the road, drove as the sun came up and pulled into our driveway around 8am. I slept for a few hours, then hit rehearsal at 3.