By request: "Bloody Mary" lyrics posted at The Panic Community.

Hard week. The rope holding different parts of my life together is becoming more and more frayed. Things snapping and falling away. Hard to keep everything together.

Last week was our TPC show on Tuesday, then I sang with Camp Freddy at a Sony Playstation party for E3. That was crazy. Sony rented the top of a whole hill overlooking Dodger Stadium in downtown L.A. for this party. About 5 thousand Sony employees and guests, tons of food and drink, and entertainment courtesy of Jimmy Eat World and Camp Freddy. Also playing were Mini-Kiss - the little people Kiss cover band.

During the JEW set - Jerry Cantrell, Dono and I had a little poker game going. I broke my rule of never playing dealer's choice games, and lost every dollar I put in. Man, I hate dealer's choice. Fucking wild card, Omaha, Draw, "Close one eye and who farts first wins" games can blow me. I just like Hold 'Em - so sue me.

The show was fun, but it was weird playing a CF show without Dave - he had a prior engagement and couldn't make it. We all missed him. Scott Weiland and Matt Sorum from Velvet Revolver played the show, as well as Brandon from Incubus. We talked a little bit - quite a cool fellow, and he sang the shit out of "Whole Lotta Love". Talked with John5 about his love for collecting vintage Fender Telecasters for a bit.

On Friday TPC played a short set to close out the MusicCares M.A.P award show. The show was honoring none other than our esteemed guitarist, Mr. David Navarro. M.A.P. helps musicians with drug and alcohol recovery, and Dave gave all the profits from the sale of his book to them so they made him this year's honoree. The award night was pretty emotional, it was also in honor of Rick Van Santen who died last year. Flea played trumpet for a tribute song sung by Bob Forrest from Thelonius Monster, a band called Year Long Disaster played, as well as a great short set from Jerry Cantrell's new solo project. I was in the dressing room next to them and heard them warming up a new song called "Malignant Man". Wow, some insane wicked dark three-part harmonies coming out of that room. Good stuff.

Dave accepted his award, it got kinda heavy and touching, then bam! He had to turn around and rock with the band. We played "Teahouse of the Spirits", "Left to Lose", and "Dazed and Confused". We decided to play the Zep cover cause it was a real industry heavy crowd, and we thought they would especially dig the classic touch.

This week was a mess. Dark, confusing. Let's just say that much, and move on to other matters...

On Friday, took my second 2nd place finish at Dave's Friday night poker game. Both times I entered the heads-up play as chip leader. The first time I couldn't kill off Greg Simon (which won him the poker nickname "The Cockroach" from me), and this time it was Anthony from the Dragonfly. We've played poker a few times, and never been heads up together. I had him, I really did, then he went all in with something like K 8 or something, I had Aces and called. Cracked. I tilted for a couple hands, then he drew super lucky again to knock me out. I should be happy with making any cash at all, God knows I need it, but damn, ...so close. But then again, so what.

For the past few nights I have been on all night patrol working on the new Panic Site "velvet version". It's coming along really well. Sometimes it's a true pleasure just to work on solitary creative stuff, just me and the pixels and the music playing. Once the design is complete, I turn it over to Robert Chafino to break apart and skin the old site that he has been rebuilding from the ground up. Hard to say when we'll be finished.